Okay, so I mentioned in my first post that I had joined eHarmony years ago with good results, but not necessarily because of that site. Something happened today that was similar to then, so it's now time to explain.

When I went on eHarmony and met some really nice folks, had some really nice dates and whatnot, I actually met someone on my own out somewhere else instead. He and I didn't work out in the end, but it was a nice relationship and we were together for quite sometime.

Which leads me to believe: when you put yourself out there like that? The universe, the gods, God, the balance of nature, whatever you want to attribute it to? Takes notice and puts other things in your path.

Today I had a "me" day and it was wonderful. Made a batch of stew, grabbed my camera and walked over to the park. I almost did it after just waking up. Like, no shower, no comb-through-the-hair, nothing. Then thought: eh, no. Take a shower, girl. At least. You smell. ;-) So, I did, but then still donned a big ol' baggy Packers sweatshirt from 1996 (no joke), threw on my new Sketchers from Mom (thank you, Mom) and my ugliest pair of jeans and headed off. Just for a day on my own.

Walked through the 'hood first, taking pictures of things that made me smile. But something told me I should head to the park, so I bee-lined for that next and was soon taking the obligatory Midtown skyline photos from the Big Hill (said picture above). Next stop after for me is always the lake there. And so I climbed off the hill and went down to the lake at the first entrance I could find.

As I was walking down the little ramp, a man was walking up. Earphones on, carrying a skateboard or something? I don't remember. But he made an offhanded comment: "hey, Packers! Go Packers." I laughed and kept walking, but for some reason (and I have NO idea why), then stopped and turned around to look at him over my shoulder. He had continued walking, too, but had stopped and turned around to look at me as well. We both walked back to the meeting spot, about three or four paces from where we had been.

I said, "Packers? Are you from Wisconsin, too?" and he opened that he was actually from Mississippi originally and went to school with Brett Favre. I told him that those were curse words for me now and he laughed.

We talked for all of about, hmmm. What? Four minutes? About sports, and how cool it was that I was just walking around taking pictures (from him, not me), and that, hey, because I am? "You gotta go to the other side of the park where the band is playing and there are these cool things in costumes there!" stuff like that. (and I eventually did)

And then he took a chance. He asked me if I was single.

Now, typically? I hedge. Or lie. Or just don't want to deal. Why didn't I this time? I don't know. I actually answered him honestly that I was.

So he asked if he could have my phone number because he'd like to take me out if that would be okay and I actually said "sure" -- and meant it. I meant it? Yeah, I actually did. But something told me: why not? This is the stuff that happens in movies, really. When people just randomly "bump" into each other and meet. So why not take the chance? I mean, dating is *dating*, right? So why not take a chance when someone is willing to be that forthright and put himself on the line to even pose the question? (on an aside: so glad I'm a girl. More on THAT at another time, too.)

So I said sure and then he smiled, looked up over the phone he pulled out and said, "I bet you're a 678 girl?" (folks in the ATL would understand this - it's about your area code) I gasped in mock dismay and said, "oh hells, no! 404!" and he laughed and the reference to Seinfeld and the "212" came up (New Yorkers and Seinfeld fans would get this too). And then when he saw my actual number, he grinned again and said: "yeah, that's a good number alright." My rock-star number. Superstar!

So then I shook his hand, said goodbye, nice to meet him and that I was looking forward to his call and to have a good afternoon. Continued on my stroll, took fun pictures and came back home.

And he called tonight already. Simple, non-stalky: just a "hey, it's J* who you met in the park today. Here's my number. I'd really like to take you out if you'd like."

Nice!

I think I'm actually going to go, too.

And this is where I come back to my initial point. I think there's something out there that's saying: "Hey! If you put yourself out there and try? For real? I'm/we/we're going to put other opportunities in your path too." Hey. He doesn't have to be the love of my life. He may just end up a friend I walk the park with and introduce to one of my other single girlfriends who may be a perfect match. But if I'm really serious about finally meeting someone? It's time to stop saying no to potential opportunities because who knows when one of those might actually work out? (especially when someone could see me in ugly, baggy clothes, little makeup and nothing done with my hair and still want to ask me out!)

It was a really nice day. :-)

Reactions a Week In

I'm enjoying this right now, says the girl who is just a week in.

A few honorable mentionables (it's a word in my world) from this week:

1.) Initial message from G: "I'm a quality man... Let's talk; I will not disappoint."

Oh no no no. Boys, please don't do this. Don't define yourself as "quality" - what does that even MEAN? But especially don't do this as well, not but 6 hours later: "Really. I'm a man with no drama, financially stable and emotionally available. Can we talk?" And then, 4 hours after that: "hello? are you checking your messages?"

Now, don't get me wrong. It's been a long time since I've cracked open a dictionary. But that's a little more needy, bordering on creepy, than "quality" to me. (But hey! Dictionary meanings are added all the time, right? Yeah. Still think Imma gonna pass.)


2.) Finding friends who are on there already is making me grin out loud. Some by accident (huh! I had no idea his real age!) and some that come up as "Hey! You might like this person" who I know darn well probably just signed up recently too. *grin* If you're reading this, you know who you are and I got such a big grin outta that. Did I show up as one of your "Hey! You might like this person" too? This shit is funny.

3.) A potential match that came up by the name of "Blaine." I almost want to write him just to tell him that's an appliance, not a name.

3a.) Maybe I should look at his profile to see if he would get it.

3b.) Hmmm. He just might. We'll revisit this one later.

4.) I've actually been having a conversation back-and-forth with a really nice guy it seems. Like, for reals and not just for blog fodder. Huh. Wasn't quite expecting that and actually told a couple of close friends (revealing his profile), "maybe he can be the first "meet in person" entry for this blog. Oooh fun!

Now, lest you think I'm just playing with these folks? I'm not. I'm not just trying to mock or make fun of people or anything like that. Deep down, I'd like to find someone out here. Or there. Or anywhere. (After all, my friends Marie* and Laurie* sure did!) So if the "meet in persons" that happen (and I'm sure planning they will) turn out silly or creepy or weird? Yeah, they're going here, for sure. But if they turn out pretty cool? And I meet a new friend or actually have a nice date? Yeah. They're going on here too.

I should have stared this months ago when my friend Lola* first told me about it and her experiences.

*again, names changed for the innocent. you're going to know this after a while and I can stop with the astericks, right?

And THIS is how it's done.

To be Not-So-Mean? (and I'm not saying I ain't) Here are the first communications from fellas that cracked me up instead of being that dismissin' biotch you read in the last post:

1) From I: ok cheesehead... yeah, yeah, 7-0... just be lucky the J-E-T-S don't play the you during the regular season. we would take you DOWN! ok, so outside of our differences in football team alliance, i think we're perfect for each other... and while i may not be a huge fan of the packers, my brother is a fan (sorry, he's married with kids) BUT i do have an affinity for gouda and i suppose swiss. btw, you have one of the most radiant and cutest smiles ever! :)

[blogger note: I laughed him off the planet thinking his J-E-T-S could even hold their own against my Pack. But in a very sweet way, of course.]

2) (in seeing my profile name) From M: Are you more "cheese" or more "dixie" at this point?

3) From S: OK. We both read...a lot! We both write. We both have cats! Just sayin'... I like your smile as well; is it as brillant in person as it is in your photos? Oh yeah, I'm a fan of History also. Was one of my majors :)


THAT's the way you get a response, folks.

The Opening Lines NOT to Use

Guys. Really? These should NOT be your opening lines to women.

1) From S: So what are you up to?

Really? REALLY.

2) From Z: How are you?

Disinterested. That's how I am. I almost feel like writing him a psycho response. You know, along the lines of: "omg! I'm great right now cause I'm coked out my eyeballs! And yet I still managed to eat an entire pizza right now because I'm trying to get a big ol' roll on my belly that my eight cats can climb up and sleep on! Oh I do so love my cats. They lick my face each night until I fall asleep. Which, oooh! Means I feel CLEAN right now too! So that's my answer. How am I? Clean!"

Seriously. RME. (which, I learned from a colleague means "rolling my eyes." Thought I'd explain because you'll probably see a lot of that here)

3) From L: hi

Wow. Can't compete with that. Bet he gets all the girls in the bars with that one.

4) From M: hi there. how r u doing?

What is this, a text message? A tweet? (even then you have 116 more characters, bub.) All over my profile you can find how much an English geek I am. "r u" ain't gonna cut it in my world. But, hey. I'll answer: I'm CLEAN!

5) From C: it seems like you are a camera girl, huh? well anyway, nice to meet you.

I'm a camera girl? Um, because I posted pictures of myself and you didn't? Yup. I'm a camera girl alright.


Now, lest you think I'm mean without knowing me well? I'd like to explain. I actually am. :-) There have actually been a couple of folks who did do the opening email correctly. Correspondence is occurring. But what fun would it be if I started my blog like that?

Let the Fun Begin!

Well, here we go, my friends. As the title says: let the fun begin!

First, I would like to preface that I don't think online dating is necessarily a joke. I've fiddled with Match.com, actually been successful with eHarmony years ago and think that online is just as good a place as any to meet a good fella. My Mom and Pop met over the phone back in the mid-60s: when I told my now almost-70-year-old Momma about online dating her response was simply, "hey, well, that's your generation of our telephone."

Nicely said!

So I've been meaning to jump back in for a while now. To meet someone? Sure! Who doesn't want to meet someone? But also because of all the fun and crazy stories my other online-dating friends have told me. Sometimes we laughed until we cried. Other times we stared in disbelief. Thankfully, we have yet to need restraining orders. But the "laughed 'til we cried" part made me think: what would it be like if I chronicled this experience? If the goal IS to meet someone, then it would be really kinda cool to see the process along the way. And if it didn't happen? Shoot, at least I'd have enough memories of laughing 'til we almost peed our pants moments to enjoy the journey. I'm diggin' it.

So I chose me some OKCupid.com. I chose this mainly because it was free! I reckon that if I were real serious at this point, I might go back to eHarmony (like I've said, that was successful...but in reasons I didn't expect. More on that another time). Also, my good friends Laurie* and Marie* actually met matches through this same site.

*names mentioned from here on out will always be changed to protect the innocently guilty. Reckon I'm going to have to keep a notebook to keep all this on track.

So, hey! Let's give it a roll, shall we?